elcome to the world's premier ISP for people with more money than sense.

SchnellNet Services

• NEW! SchnellNet offers the most advanced search engine in the world.
• View Schnell.Net's national, international, and interplanetary backbone network maps and details.
• Schnell.Net now offers D.U.H. Certification Courses for people who want IT certifications but have only minimal brainwave activity.
• Schnell.Net offers premium broadband DSL access for only three dollars a year!
• SCHNELL.NET provides web hosting for the credulous through our 25 cents a month SuperDuperVal-U package.
• We also offer Internet connectivity through our subsidiary, Ed's Bait, Tackle and Dial-Up.
• Download our brand-spankin'-new web browser, Conquistador!
• Program for our new cross-platform standard, JabbaScript!
• MAKE MONEY NOW! NO WORK REQUIRED! Check out my patented and revolutionary MLM Spam Scam for the Terminally Stupid.

Other Useful Links

• The official Computer Stupidities home page. Hundreds of great tech support stories about people who shouldn't be allowed to operate metal spoons, let alone computers.

Why the World Needs Another Underfunded ISP

Specifically, SCHNELL.NET is different because of its founder, president, overlord and guiding light, Jeffrey Carl. In addition to being the non-benevolent dictator of SCHNELL.NET, Jeff has written a bunch of other crap for places ranging from Boardwatch Magazine to Slashdot.

That all being said, SCHNELL.NET is the most important development in the history of the Internet because it allows you, the unsuspecting public, to send me money.

For more information on how to send me money, send me e-mail at me@schnell.net or check out my home page.

Looking for the joke?

Have a nice day.